


A Very Bad Voltron Parody

by GalacticMagicStudios, WindWhisper (GalacticMagicStudios), Wolfsong (GalacticMagicStudios)



Category: Voltron Force, Voltron: Defender of the Universe (1984), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, Comedy, Intentionally Bad Spelling & Grammar, Multifandom References, No Plot, Oreo Churro Recipe: Chapter 11!, Parody, Randomness, References to Shakespeare, Written for laughs, honestlyprettychill, ordinarydreamer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-07-05 16:38:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 5,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15867561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalacticMagicStudios/pseuds/GalacticMagicStudios, https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalacticMagicStudios/pseuds/WindWhisper, https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalacticMagicStudios/pseuds/Wolfsong
Summary: Join Churro, Kith, Pike, Hank, Pidgeon, Alli, Corn and their leader, Cowtoneker, as they ride the cardboard loins of Voltage to defend the universe from the evil forces of Zarkoff, Haggard and Prince Late!





	1. Team Voltage: Who's Who

**Author's Note:**

> Stay busy kids. This is what happens when you have too much time to kill. And when your imagination malfunctions. 
> 
> This is purposefully written poorly and meant to be taken lightheartedly. Don't let it deter you from reading our other (more serious) works!
> 
> Read the chapters in any order you wish. It will make about as much sense. The chapters have been named in such a way that, hopefully, will help you find what appeals to you the most. 
> 
> We do not own Voltron, Dreamworks, Frozen, Ninjago, the many other things poorly referenced in here, or the Oreo Churro recipe in Chapter 11. Rights to original owners. 
> 
> Finally, if you have been thoroughly amused, please go check out our instagram: "galacticmagicstudios" or "Tea Is Just Hot Leaf Juice". Sometimes, we'll post fanart (or original art)!

Everyone's entire personality summed up in a single sentence (in some cases, single word).

Cowtoneker: Moo.  
Take-a-Shy Churro-Gone: Form Voltage!  
Kith Ko-go-away: My name’s Kith, I’m so emo.  
Pike MacClean: Hey, is that a hot girl?  
Hank Carrot: I don’t feel so good.  
Pidgeon Gun-Raisin: Technology!  
Princess Alli: We cannot relinquish hope, for hope is all we have!  
Corn Horny-Nimbus Weighs-a-Ton Smite: Everything he says is a bad joke or pun.  
Crayola Ko-go-away: The power of creativity. It starts here.  
King Algorithms: The mathmagician.  
Prince Late ZarVa HonerOff Altera Childe: Is always late to everything.  
Haggard: Is always sick and tired.  
Zarkoff: Shouts angrily at everyone.  
Bat : Very serious and scared of daylight.  
Rolo: Sink into smooth.  
Nimrod: A mighty hunter  
Caravan: (Kolivan)  
Sand Deck: (Sendak) Loves playing in sandboxes and throwing it into the other kid’s eyes.  
Olaf: (Ulaz) Literally nothing more than a plot device.  
Acne: Constantly fighting a battle with her namesake.  
Zit-rid: Likes popping zits, even other people’s.  
Warti: Strong silent type.  
Eitheror: Most indecisive alien  
She: Hank’s crush  
Kake: He ded  
Cheerio: No, I'm Churro   
Churro’s fangirls: Mostly concerned with insisting that he isn’t a clone. Collectively favourite ship: Alluro.  
Kith’s fangirls: Some of them hate Pike fangirls, and they are often observed catfighting in the background of every scene. Tend to overanalyze and freak out over everything Kith does. Collectively favourite ship: they all have a different one and fight among themselves over which is best.  
Pike fangirls: Some of them hate Kith fangirls, and they are often observed catfighting in the background of every scene. Tend to overanalyze and freak out over everything Pike does. Collectively favourite ship: they all have a different one and fight among themselves over which is best.  
Hank fangirls: The Pottermore sorting hat test put all of them in Hufflepuff. There aren’t as many of them, or maybe it just seems that way because they are the most passive group of fangirls ever, never complain about anything or fight with anyone and thus aren’t as noticeable. Collectively favourite ship: Shank (She+Hank)  
Pidgeon fangirls: Mainly rebellious tomboys who try to stop all the other ship wars, insisting that shipping is ridiculous and unessential to the plot.  
Alli fangirls: They consider Alli their queen and are a hivemind. They’re actually the most useful fangirls, as all of them will do whatever Alli tells them to do, including fighting Late, Zarkoff and Haggard.

Places:  
The Hovel of Loins, home of Princess Alli, Corn and the Pals o’ Den.  
Outer Space. Try to remember not to take off your helmet.  
The Yxalag Academy. Motto: So you want to go to space? We’re here to make sure you do it legal-like (not to be held liable for any deaths)  
The Balmy Era: A planet, home to She and her family. They talk to rocks.  
Airy: The planet where the Pals o’ Den found Princess Alli and Corn, living in the Hovel.  
All The A’s: The home planet of Alli and Corn, has since been destroyed.


	2. I Which Hank and Pike Converse With Cattle

“Moo.” 

“What does she want now?”

“Moo.”

“I think she’s angry.” 

Pike and Hank stared at the black and white mound in front of them, apprehensively. All of a sudden, it flicked it’s long, pink-ribbon adorned tail and bellowed again, louder and more dangerous sounding than ever. 

“Moo.”

It was terrifying. 

Pike tried to shove Hank towards the creature, but Hank, being quite a bit larger, refused to move. “I can’t face her. I’ll probably throw up like last time! Anyway, she’s a she. That’s your expertise.”

“Moo.” 

Hank promptly threw up, and Pike found himself alone, facing the great creature. 

Fifteen minutes later, Pike had finally interpreted that Cowtoneker, the cow leader of the Pals o’ Den, wanted them all to form Voltage. Time to go find Churro, who was not a girl, Kith, who also wasn’t a girl, Pidgeon, who was actually a girl but pretending to be a boy, Alli, who was definitely a girl but for some reason didn’t like Pike, and Corn, the Lord of the Puns.


	3. In Which Pike and Kith AREN'T PAYING ATTENTION!!!

Back with the Pal O’ Den’s of Voltage, Pike was trying to coach Kith in team cheers. “When I say ‘Vol’, you say ‘Tage’. Got it?” He said. 

“No,” said Kith. “I wasn’t listening because I don’t like you.”

“Ready? Vol-” Pike said. 

“Voltage.” Kith said. 

“No, no, no, when I say ‘Vol’, then you say-”

“Would you two stop fooling around and help us?” Shouted Churro. 

Behind the two Pals O’ Den, the rest of the team was wielding their cardboard lions against Zarkoff, who was yelling angrily at everyone in sight.


	4. In Which I Can't Spell Pidgeon's Name

Okay, so like, they get back to the hovel and Pidfeon is all:”well, this has been fun, but I came to find muy bro and dad, so imma just go do that now, addio.” And then Kith was all: “no” and pushed him over. Then Pudegeon was like, “that’s not allowed, and by the way, narrator, I’m a girl.

Oh. Sorry, Pidgeon. 

Then. like, Pike goes: “what? That;s, like, mny favourite tye of human!” and everyone else is like, “okay, Piedgeon, we know stop telling us.’ Than Pidgeon doesn’t need to leave because Bat shows up and theyre all ike “Yay, bat!” and Bat’s all like, “Ahh, the sun!” and that’s then end of Chapter...11.


	5. In Which Wolfsong Participates

Something Voltron… YAY!!!!!


	6. In Which Kith Becomes Shakespeare And The Author is Confused

Okay, so, one dark, gloomy, rainy and stormy night, the Pal O’ Dens of Voltage were....

What?

What?

What do you mean, it doesn’t rain/storm in space? Of course it does! Haven’t you ever heard of meteor showers? Yes, that can be a type of rainstorm. I don’t care if your dictionary says otherwise! It’s called a plot device! Now can we please move on with the story?!

Sorry about that.

SO! As I was saying, one dark, gloomy, and meteor shower-y night, the Pal O’ Den’s of Voltage were lying around doing almost exactly nothing. Pike was caring for Cowtonecker, which today involved a gentle lullaby, followed by a nice milking, which Cowtonecker allowed for the resulting milkshakes, which everyone loved dearly but the terribly-squeamish Princess Alli and her joker advisor Corn.

Yes, cows can drink milkshakes. No, it is not cannibalism. Why do you think they produce that milk in the first place? It’s for baby cows to eat!!!!!

Ahem.

The reason Pike had to milk Cowtonecker by hand was because Pidgeon was performing experiments on the milking machine because TECHNOLOGY, which left the Pal O’ Dens milking-machine-less. 

Just thought I’d throw that in there.

Hank was off doing unmentionables in the bathroom.

Just thought I’d add that in as well. You’re welcome.

Kith was sitting in a corner, bemoaning the atrocities of life to anyone who would listen. 

“Oh, woe are we!” he wailed. “For we, who have been flung into a war not our own, to fight, but until what? Imprisonment? Ah, but such bonds are easily thrown away, as evidenced by our dear comrade, Churro.”

Churro was sitting in the other corner trying to build a miniature Voltage out of toothpicks. “Form Voltage!” he barked without looking up.

Undeterred, Kith continued. “Oh, for imprisonment is a situation easily corrected. But impostor-dom?”

“That’s not a word!” Pidgeon yelled from off-wherever-she-was-dissecting-an-innocent-milking-machine.

“Oh, impostor-dom is a hard one,” Kith moaned. “For it is not noticed! And then we are never saved from the torment of what-we-are-not!” He glanced around, noticed no one was listening, then continued at twice the volume.

“AND WHAT OF DEATH?” he yelled. “WHAT IF WE ARE FORCED TO VACATE OUR MORTAL BODIES? FLEE FROM THE TOIL OF LIVING? THAT IS THE FATE WE MUST AVOID! BUT THERE IS NO AVOIDANCE! EVEN NOW, IN OUR PRECIOUS HOVEL, A RAIN OF DEATH SHOWERS ALL AROUND US, THREATENING OUR VERY SOULS! OH, WOE, WOE, WOE ARE WE! WOE, WOE, WOE - Hey!”

He took the milking pail Pike had thrown at his head, and hurled it back. “I don’t like you either!” he snapped.

“And I hate you!” Pike retorted.

“Watch your language!”

“Form Voltage!”

“Technology!”

“UURRFF!”

“MOOOOO!”

And that is how the Hovel of Lions was made. Check back next time to see how the Pal O’ Dens spend their days!

What do you mean, I mixed up the episodes?

No, I did not!

OF COURSE THAT IS HOW EMO PEOPLE ACT! ARE YOU DOUBTING YOUR AUTHOR?

Thank you.

The END.


	7. Chapter 7




	8. Chapter 8

 

~~Sorry~~


	9. Churro's Backstory

Once upon a time there was this dude named Churro. I think he was Japanese or something. Anyway, one day he was hanging out with his friends Bat and Bat’s Dad, and these tall purplish alien dude’s showed up and abducted them. With a spaceship. Cool, right? So Bat’s Dad got sent of to some prison somewhere, idrk why. And Bat and Churro were supposed to become gladiators, but Churro decided to take one for the team and injured Bat so that Bat could escape...because that’s how that works! 

Churro became really popular in the Colosseum and everyone started to call him the Champion. Eventually, Haggard managed to stay awake long enough to notice this and thought, “You know, Zarkoff, it would be a really good idea if we took his arm and replaced it with a weapon. He definitely isn’t going to escape and turn against us. No one escapes from us. Muahahahahahaha….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.” The excitement had been too much for her, and she fell asleep.

Zarkoff yelled, “Do it!”

So they did. 

At the same time, they decided that Churro needed to have cool white hair and an undercut and a scar like Harry Potter, so that everyone could tell that he’s an important hero character who has been through a lot. You know. Like every really good hero character. Actually, they were really asking for what came next. 

This one purplish alien dude named Olaf waited until Haggard was asleep, which wasn’t that hard, actually, and since Zarkoff was busy yelling at Late for being, well, late all the time, Olaf had no trouble sneaking into the Colosseum. He found Churro and said, “Earth is in trouble, you need to go warn them. Here, put on this disguise and pretend your name is Sven.” And Olaf gave Churro a reindeer disguise which he put on. They found a ship and Olaf helped Churro, aka Sven, escape. 

Churro made it back to Earth in 95.06% one piece, or however much of your body minus one arm is worth, but the Academy didn’t believe his story and wouldn’t listen to him. But lucky for him, Kith was nearby and so was Pike, who had followed a girl in that direction, and Pidgeon, who’s technology had told her to go there and Hank, who had thrown up so hard that, well, we won’t talk about that. Anyway, Kith went all “NINJAGO!” on the Academy people and then was like, “hey Churro i guess i’m going to rescue you.” 

And then everyone else came in and the Academy people regained consciousness and started to chase them and that was the beginning of their whole adventure.


	10. ANOTHER Amazing Contribution By WOLFSONG!!!

One time, probably late in the cycle of time that is implemented on board such space-going vessels as the space-going vessel featured in this story, a dark, shadowy, cowled, hooded, and other-such-synonyms-ed figure was slinking along the dark corridors and halls. She - for it was a she, obviously, if anyone had bothered to consider that all stories need both males and females in both roles, and as Zarkoff was most definitely not a she, this cowled etc figure HAD to be a she as a result - She moved swiftly through the darkness, both knowing her way innatly, and having far better night vision than the average soldier, who also inhabited this silent ship, though they were not in the same area as this mysterious figure. She had a tendency to clear out rooms in a hurry. She made her way along the halls until she reached a single door at the very end of one of the halls. This door was clearly the door to a VERY IMPORTANT place for multiple reasons.  
It was twice as tall and as wide than any other door in any of the nearby halls  
The lintel and doorframe were covered in elaboratly etched spirals, runic symbols, and ancient druidic writing  
It bore a handsome sign in the very center of the door, on which was scribbled in crude, childish writing: This person (and his room) is VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
There was a faint sound of music coming from the other side of the door. It was very quiet, like someone trying not to be overheard, but the utter silence of the halls and the extra-sharp hearing of the hooded figure meant that it seemed as loud as a gunshot. The cowled person went quietly up to the door, and raised a hand to the panel inset in the wall next to the door. A long moment passed. A low, sad tune began. The figure’s head slowly nodded down to the floor. The music played. Another moment passed as a low snore rose from the depths of the hood, only to be cut short with a snort as there was a cymbal crash from inside. The cloaked head shot up, and her hand slammed down on the panel as the door flew open. 

“Your royal highness Prince Late ZarVa HonerOff Altera Childe!” she shrieked in a high pitched voice. “Are you watching Disney movies again?”

The music cut off abruptly, and a girl’s voice whispered in awe, “Ooh, she used your full name, Late! That means you’re in trouble!”

“Shh!” a boy hissed. “Eitheror! She might not have known you were here!”

The cowled figure burst into the room and dramatically threw off her hood, revealing the wan, purple face and lank, stringy white hair of the witch Haggard. She threw her body in front of the television screen set up in foreground of the room, and faced the four small girls and a boy who had been curled up in front of the screen. Behind her back, on the screen, a young woman lay with her eyes closed on a huge, lacy bed, and a woman with black horns and a long, dark cape wept over her. 

“What,” she hissed. “Is this?”

Dead silence reigned in the room. Acne scratched her forehead. Zit-rid reached over and scratched her cheek too. Acne broke the silence with a shriek, and tackled Zit-rid to the ground. “Stop touching my face!” she yelled, her face not inches away from Zit-rid’s own. 

“Get out of my face!” Zit-rid hollered back. She pushed Acne away and jumped on top of her. Eitheror leapt to her feet, shrieked once, in fear, then shrieked again, in delight, looking uncertain about which to feel. Late jumped up to help, then shrieked himself as his feet never touched the floor. Haggard stood with her hand in the air, a cloud of dark magic bubbling around each child in front of her, freezing them where they stood, fought, floated, or sat, in the case of Warti, the only child who hadn’t moved since Haggard had entered the room. Warti was petting the cat that sat on her lap, and didn’t seem to be aware of anything that was going on around her.

“Prince Late,” Haggard rasped. “What have I told you about watching happy movies?”

The white-haired boy swallowed nervously. “They’re… unrealistic,” he whispered.

“And what about movies where the goody-good guys win?”

“Stupid.” Late licked his lips, his toes wiggling as he tried to adjust to the sensation of being suspended off the ground.

“And what’s even worse than movies where the good guys win?”

“Movies where the bad guys are redeemed,” Late recited.

“And what is THIS?” Haggard roared at last, her self-control finally breaking down. “THIS? THIS GOOD-Y GOOD MOVIE WHERE EVERYBODY’S HAPPY, AND THE ONE WHO HAS IT ALL GIVES IT ALL UP FOR A LITTLE GIRL?! WHO GIVES EVERYTHING UP FOR JUST A CHILD! A WHINING LITTLE BRAT! A… A…” Her face crumpled, her breathing changing and becoming quick and shallow. “A child,” she whispered. “Their child… their own….” Her legs collapsed underneath her, and she fell in a heap onto the floor, unconscious. The bubble of magic vanished from around the children. Late fell with a thud onto the ground. Zit-rid and Acne rolled away from each other and turned their backs, each refusing to look at the other. Eitheror leapt up and down with the joy of being free to move, then trembled in fear with the enormity of having to decide for herself where to go. Warti sat calmly on the floor. Her cat purred. After a minute or two of such antics, Late crawled up next to the witch, and held a hand in front of her open mouth, then felt for the pulse in her neck.

“She must have forgotten to take her meds this morning,” he said. “She’s fast asleep.” He extracted the remote from under her sleeping body and sat back on his heels, looking at the girls. “Shall we continue?”


	11. Churro's ORIGIN STORY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recipe source: 
> 
> Dinner, then Dessert. “Oreo Churros.” Dinner, Then Dessert, 11 July 2018, dinnerthendessert.com/oreo-churros/.
> 
> Credits to the original creator.

Ingredients  
36 Oreos  
2 cups water  
4 tablespoons butter  
1 cup sugar , divided (1/3 cup for batter, 2/3 cup to roll churros in)  
1 cup flour  
2 eggs  
Oil for frying  
1 cup heavy cream

 

Instructions  
Separate the cookies and the filling into two bowls.  
Process the cookies to a fine crumb in your food processor.  
In a pot, add water, butter, 1/3 cup sugar and bring to a boil.  
Add the flour and Oreo crumbs.  
Whisk together until fully combined.  
Add two eggs and whisk together again.  
In a piping bag with a large star tip, pipe 5 inch sections onto a parchment paper lined cookie sheet.  
Freeze completely (or a minimum of 2 hours) to preserve the shape and help the frying look perfect.  
When you're ready to fry them, heat 2 inches of oil in your large pot to 350 degrees.  
Add them in batch to the oil and cook for 2 minutes on each side.  
In a shallow bowl add 2/3 cup sugar.  
Drain the oil from the churros and roll in sugar.  
Add the heavy cream to your stand mixer with the whisk attachment.  
Melt the Oreo filling for 10 seconds to soften.  
Whisk until peaks form and add in the Oreo filling.  
Whisk on high until filling is incorporated completely.  
Refrigerate whipped cream until you are ready to serve.  
TA-DA!!! And that folks is how Churro was made ;)


	12. Kith's Parents Headcanon

Kake and Krolia went up a hill  
To fetch a baby Kith  
Kake fell down, and broke his neck  
And Krolia left.

Yay rhymes


	13. What The Fangirls Were Doing This Entire Time

Churro’s fangirls burst into the room “Our space Papa is precious and not a clone!” They hollered. A group of Kith fangirls pushed past them. “Kith is the most precious character and doesn’t deserve everything Pike does to him.” “Oh that is so not fair.” The Pike fangirl’s hollered, trampling the Churro fangirls. “Pike is a misunderstood, wonderful human being!” They began fighting. No one noticed the Hank fangirls eating in the back. The Pidgeon fangirls appeared and started shouting, “All this fighting is useless because ships are ships and people are allowed to fall in love with whoever they like!” Meanwhile, the Alli fangirls were clustered around their “queen”, asking if they could help her in any way. 

“Who let all these girls on the ship?” Inquired Churro. 

“I don’t know but I love them,” Announced Pike.

“I hate them all,” Kith pouted. 

“They’re messing up my TECHNOLOGY!” Hollered Pidgeon.

“Fan girls? More like fan nope’s!” Laughed Corn. No one got it. 

“I only work in black and sometimes really really dark grey.” Mused Bat.

“In the end hope is all we have left and we can’t forget about it,” Alli supposed. 

“CONFETTI!” Crayola pranced around throughing it everywhere. 

“Hello, Pals o’ Den.” Late said. 

“Ahh, how did you get here? BLUGH.” Ejeculated Hank. 

“Peace in come I.” Late held up two fingers. 

“Yay!”

I’m eccast...ekast...acchast...very tired. Riting dis fanfic be def...derfer...very hard. I’m go bed now. Goonite! ONly nice comtents! No actual critimsm. I a very good riter and dnt need hlp. THX!


	14. In Which Whisp Is Defensive

HASHTAG-NOT-MY-CHURRO!!!!

That it all

Goodbye


	15. In Which A Force is Mugged and An Employee is Stunned

The day was proceeding as normal at DreamWorks HQ. Most of the commotion over the release of season seven of Voltron had more-or-less died down, and Phil could finally go about his day without being mobbed by fans and reporters. (He honestly couldn’t decide which was worse.) As he walked briskly down a long hallway towards some little-used and half abandoned storage rooms, he became aware of a rhythmic banging sound coming from a room just a few doors down. He stopped where he stood and stared nervously at the door, unsure of how to respond. 

“Who… Who’s there?” He called out uncertainly. 

No one answered, but the banging paused for a moment, then resumed, louder than before. Phil rubbed the back of his head, then impulsively took several rapid steps down the hall until he was standing in front of the door from which the sound originated. He stared at the door for several long seconds, working up his courage. 

The banging continued unabated. 

Before he could begin to second-guess himself, he reached forward, gasped the handle tightly in his shaking hands and flung the door open wide, sending it crashing against the wall behind it. Phil didn’t notice the thunderous CRASH it made, as he was too busy staring in complete and utter shock at the sight revealed within. 

The door opened into a small broom closet, common in DreamWorks’ windings halls, and this closet contained, among the usual mops and brooms, a human figure, bound in ropes, with duct tape covering its mouth, beating its feet against the floor. Angry eyes glared up at Phil as he gasped in horror. Quickly, he dropped to one knee and tore the tape off the man’s mouth, and with the other hand began tearing at the ropes binding his body.

“What happened to you?” he asked anxiously. “Who did this to you?”

The man spat bits of tape out of his mouth and scowled at up at Phil. “Your own bloody employees, mate. Stupid movie makers, mugging me! ME! Physics! It’s like they don’t even care about staying rooted to the earth anymore! Oh no, they just have to dance around on top of SPACESHIPS, plummeting to earth from outer SPACE, WITH NO HELMETS! Did I mention the lack of oxygen? The suffocating pressure? Oh! How about the force that would have hurled them off the top into SPACE? And…”

Phil hadn’t heard most of that monologue,as he was too busy processing the man’s first sentence. “Wait,” he said. “Slow down there. You’re physics?! As in the, ah, erm-" He wracked his brain for some kind of definition. “The explanation for how forces act on objects?” he offered weakly.

The man’s scowl deepened. “Weren’t’cha listening the first time? Of course I am!”

“But… but how…” 

The man’s ropes were fully untied now, and he rose to his feet, brushing the remnants off his torso and legs. They fell into the lap of a stunned Phil, who sat blankly on the floor, mouth gaping, eyes loosely wandering the tiny closet. 

“It ain’t the first time,” the man admitted gruffly. “Most movies don’t ‘preciate the work I do.” He flipped Phil a shiny silver coin out of his pocket, it landed in his lap, where he slowly dropped his head to stare at it blankly. 

“Thanks for the assist,” the man said as he turned to go. “Come by and find me next season, ‘Kay?”

He left the room, leaving only the ropes and the coin as signs he had ever been there.

THE END


	16. Ithithith

Once upon a time during a battle Churro got really badly hurt, as in he was hurt very badly and while he was hurt Kith was the only one around so Churro said “Kith, I am…”

“My father?” Exclaimed Kith, amazed!

“No! Dude, like, how old do you think I even am?” Churro shouted. “No Kith, I am the guy who leads Voltage…”

“Well duh.” Said Kith. 

“And I want you to lead Voltage if I don’t make it.”

“Hark! What is this?” Kith exclaimed. “ My dear brother and best friend believiths he may die and wantiths me to takith his place? Ith? Whatsoeverith shouldith Iith sayith?”

“Dude, I’m right here.” Churro said. 

Later on Churro disappeared and everyone was sad but then he came back and he basically looked the same but there was something off about him...his haircut, maybe? And he said “Hello, fellow Pals O Den. I am Cheerio. No, I mean, I am Churro. I come in peace.” 

And everyone went, “Yaya!” Well, not everyone. Kith said, “ Ohith whatith joyith comith toith thisith placith onith thisith dayith. Forith myith dearith brotherith and bestith friendith isith aliveith!” 

And Pike got distracted by a girl. 

And Hank tried to say “yay” but it came out as: Bleugh 

And Alli tried to say “yay” but what it sounded like was, “We cannot give up hope, for hope is all we have!”

And Corn said, “Churro? More like Mexican Donut. Hahahah. Come on, that was good, wasn’t it?” 

“No” Said Bat.

And Pidgeon said, “Everyone just shut up because you’re ruining my technology.” 

Then in a soliloquy, Cheerio laughed and said, “Hah! They fell for it! They really believe I am Churro! Now I can deliver Voltage to my masters Haggard and Zarkoff! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.” 

“Heyith Churroith.” Kith saidith. “Nowith thatith youreith hereith youith canith leadith Voltageith againith. Immaith gonnaith goith joinith theith Butterknifeiths ofith Marmotith. Peacith yallith.”


	17. This Chapter

“In honour of our great and perfect prince Late, we must sow trouble everywhere we go.” The head of the Late fanclub said. “Anyone have any ideas?”

A shadowy figure in the back raised their hand. Everyone turned. Whispers ran through the crowd, and everyone realized that this was a stranger. 

The mysterious cloaked figure stood and said in a low, even voice, one word: “Pikith,” 

The fanclub head slowly smiled. Then, she threw back her head and laughed. “Muahahahahahahahahahah!” The entire group joined in. Their laughter carrying throughout the universe and Late, alone in his tower getting ready to arrive late to an imperial meeting, smiled. His fanclub was doing his bidding, exactly as he’d hoped. 

A few days later: 

“PIKITH IS KIIIING!” A fan hollered from the roof of the Starship Pikith, where, once again, Physics had been overthrown from. The crew took up a cheer. 

Suddenly, another starship drew up alongside. The Pikith captain squinted at it’s name. “S.S.Pikeon.” Oh no. 

“Get out of here, modestlyverycool!” He yelled as the captain stepped out onto the roof. “This is our sector of the galaxy.” 

Before MVC could respond, another ship pulled up abreast. A voice called, “Allith forever!” 

“Usualbeliever.” The captain of the Pikith said, icily. 

“Last I heard, this was my territory. And you, Pikith, are threatening my ship. (Modestly, hey, how are you?)”

“(Oh, I’m good, Usual.”)

And they all began fighting. Eventually, the S.S.Allike showed up and started fighting against all three. Then came S.S.Kithurro, and S.S. Kidgeon, and S.S.Pidgank. It was a full out ship war! 

Late watched from his hiding place and laughed. But wait? Another ship? What on Airy? 

“We are the S.S.Allate! We are superior to you all!” It yelled. 

“No!” Gasped Late. This was not how it was supposed to work. Now all his fangirls were busy sailing Allate! Actually, maybe they were on to something. Hmm. And Late turned around and went off to find Alli.


	18. Incorrect AVBVP Quotes!

Alli: Sorry Pike, I’ve met a real man!

Cowtoneker: Hello, yes, I am real man, you want to go skateboards?

-ASDF Movie

 

Pidgeon: Does anybody have any tape out there? I want to put some tape over the death button.

Pike: I don’t have any tape! Let me check! *In the background* Hey Churro, do you have any - ow - do you have any tape? … Ugh, ahahaha. … Kith, do you have any tape? … Tape! … Aw, nevermind! … Corn! Do you have any tape? Yeah, Scotch tape would work! … Then why did you ask me if Scotch tape would work if you don’t have any? *To Pidgeon* Nobody has any tape! 

Pidgeon: Not a single person has tape?!

Pike: Nope. 

Pidgeon: Did you ask Alli? 

Pike: Yes!

Pidgeon: Are you sure? 

Pike: I asked Churro and she was sitting right next to him! 

Pidgeon: I knew you were lying!

Pike: You have priceless batteries and an atomic bomb in your bag, if anyone’s gonna have tape it’s you!  
\- Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2.

*While on Earth, the Pals O Den take Alli and Corn to experience an authentic earth tradition: McDonalds* 

Corn: Yum. Mac da noodles.  
-Youtube


	19. The One in Which We Write Poetry

Pigeon had a little robot, little robot, little robot, pigeon had a little robot who got hacked by the galra.  
Everywhere that pidgeon went, pigeon went, pidgeon went, everywhere that pigeon went the robot would die for her

Alli, Alli, space princess. Had a Late and couldn't keep him. She put him in a quantum rift sealed it up and left him to die.


	20. In Which Prince Late is Angsty

Prine Late was late to the first anuual general Voltron team universal meeting again. Afterwards his girlfriend Princesse Alli asked, "why you so problamatic Late?" 

Late looked deep into her vacant, creepily blue eyes and said quit truefully, "My own father thought I was a monster."

"Oh." Said Alli.

"He was write of cpurse, but it stoll hurt." Late went on.

"Oh." Said Alli. 

Suddenly all of a sudden Late got an edceptionaly vacant look to his eyes. Sduddenly he ran to the edge of the map and spread his arms out in the glorious sunset while he sang his heart out,. 

""I will make you proud! I will make you have faith in me! I will give you a reason to beleive that I can go far." 

"..." Said Alli,

"Anybody who stands or stood in our path is going to pay!!!!" Latte's voice cracked into a delicate fizzle like a bee's drone but he kept on. "Tey will pay."

Suddenly all of a sudden Late turned to Alli with a look like a cold snowfake in his eyes. Alli was scared. Luckily at that moemnt Kith came back with Crayloa (He'd been away from some time, you see) with a girl named Romeollo and they all went, "Late is evil!" So Alli in a fury picked him up even thought he was seriously, like, twice her size, and through him into the sunset. And they all thought that was the end of Late but Cheerio had other ideas....

Tune in next time to find out how Late becomes a Melted Candle!


End file.
